gah.
i suck .
somehow i always feel inferior to my bro ..
i guess that's why i've been trying my best to overtake him in what i can.
but somehow my mum just doesnt cares.
like today ,
she went to my school to pick me up .
when she reached there at 7,
i was long home alr .
and then, she comes home grumbling about how irresponsible i was,
for not telling her that i was already home .
after that ,
she proudly showed my brother's computerised accountings cert .
saying how good he was cos he passed with distinction .
then what about me ?
i passed her dont know how many certs from council , new south whales, Ndp , and the school's dont know what improving cert thingy , and those leadership courses, plus other certs from primary school .
she doesnt even care .
she says im so good in school but im such a bitch at home . so what's the point of these certs ?
so i might as well not study or smth .
i told myself i wont cry so i wont .
my bro is still the best to her no matter what la .
what i do is just a waste of money to her .
what about my brother ?
he got a new comp this year , when O levels are just around the corner .
have i mentioned how long he has been playing the comp just in one day ?
i think it's more than 6 hours please .
the first thing he does when he comes home from school is switch on his comp, and start playing games .
he doesnt do his o level assessment book thingies .
until now , less than 10 pages has been done in his assessment book .
i remember when i showed her my recent maths and lit class test ,
she said i was lousy .
she said i was lousy when i scored a 12 over 15 for maths .
and a 42and a half over 45 for lit .
that was lousy .
thanks alot .
now she keeps complaining that my grandma says i have bad friends .
these were the friends that i had in primary school .
the ones that went around asking for tissue paper for me when i vomited after 1.6 during p6
the ones that actually celebrated my birthdays with me when she was too busy going overseas for her business for the past 4 years .
i told myself i wont cry .
so i wont .
she says the amount of money i spent for my party those last four years is more than enough for a present of any kind .
what i do will never be seen by her .
im just a waste of money anyway .
a useless wastrel